The Autumn Fallout

Last October, I was a wreck
I was the wreck you made
The fragments here and there
The soul programmed to abate,
but didn't.

I stopped looking for you in strangers' eyes
I stopped looking for you in different uteri
I started realising that my life is no lie,
and that you, are not the comfort zone where I should be lying

A lie, after a lie, I convinced myself that I was not whole
and that I will not be so
until I cement that hole
The one you left, you ought to remember
Or was I just a number
you'd forget after all?

I condemn the person that raised their glass and said:
"Drink to forget!" 
Because all alcohol did me was twirl my head
with thoughts and memories 
and psychedelic melodies
and plans to get on the road of psychosis 
with Whisky for water, and reefer for roses.

I tasted failure and got my share of humiliation 
Broke my wings for potentials, and gave in to my temptations 
It lead me nowhere, and I should've known better
Autumn's knocking on the door, but I'm not sure I'm ready for its weather.